This time a year ago C and I were packing up the bits and pieces from our wedding picnic and getting ready to head home. I was interviewed several months back by Hello May for a feature on our wedding (but had thought that it would be on their website) - Donna thankfully let me know that the photos were in the latest edition of their magazine - a lovely surprise. I picked up a copy today. It was interesting to see which photos they chose and it will be a sweet memento for us to keep and show Theo when he is older. We're hoping to go out to dinner sometime this week to celebrate our anniversary (with baby in tow - I just hope he doesn't bother the other restaurant patrons!). Here's to one year of wedded bliss.






Our wedding photos were by Justin Aaron.

...in June.


When I went into labour I was watching Call The Midwife and painting my nails. My nails were a hit with the nurses and doctors.


A cute card the midwives wrote out and stuck on T's cot in hospital.


C took this photo of the sun rising from the window in our room in the hospital on the morning of the day Theo was born, while I was in the early stages of labour. I only saw it today as I was going through my phone and it made me smile.

Watching | Lots of the 'Lifestyle' channel - Grand Designs, Escape To The Country, Selling Houses, etc. while feeding. I have become a little obsessed. Kevin McLeod's teeth are so white! And it's that time of year again where we move our spare bed into our lounge room to watch Le Tour (things to watch late at night during feedings/witching hours are a plus).
Listening | C and I have been buying more records lately of some of our favourite albums. This week we splurged at our local record shop and bought The National's 'Trouble Will Find Me', Jeff Buckley's 'Grace' and 'The Reminder' by Feist. We've also had Brightly's 'Beginnings and Endings' on high rotation in our car.
Consuming | Some lovely people we know in Launceston just opened up a fantastic cafe called Garden Of Vegan.  Each day of the week there is a different selection of delicious vegan meals. I could honestly eat there every day.
Making | Hmm... milk?! Not much else! I have a little exhibition/zine idea I'd love to start brainstorming and working on next month.
Visiting | Milkbar, Garden of Vegan, The Harvest Markets and The Esk Markets.
Looking forward to | All of the new developments this little baby of mine will be making - smiles, yes please! I need interaction!
In July I'd like to | Get out some paints, write more posts, take more photos and take more time to enjoy the little joys of motherhood (and learn how to type one handed better - this post took me an hour to write!).

Hope you had a lovely month!
P.S. Thank you for the kind words on my last post. Each comment was a real help to me.

(A photo from our third day in the hospital. I sent it as a postcard to a couple of relatives as a birth notice).

+ Big dark blue eyes (slowly changing to grey)
+ Perfect little upturned nose
+ Rosebud lips
+ Cheeks dotted with milk spots
+ Long (cold!) feet
+ Likes to be carried around in a wrap, falls straight to sleep
+ Long blonde eyelashes
+ No eyebrows
+ A swirl of light brown hair
+ Skin that smells delicious
+ Snores in his sleep
+ Big soft marshmallow cheeks
+ Hates being changed or being naked (C and I call him a 'never nude')
+ Enjoys our pram outings (has been to Milkbar several times)
+ Hates being swaddled
+ Long fingers with sharp fingernails that grow too fast
+ Very strong, holds his head up by himself for long periods of time and lifts himself up on his arms and knees during 'tummy time' - I have a feeling crawling is not really so far away
+ Makes adorable smiles in his sleep
+ Has many upsetting belly aches :(
+ Enjoys sleeping on top of me on his belly while I lay down (more often than not this is the only way to get him to fall asleep and I can't move him from this position or he'll cry!)

Hello hello! I have not forgotten about this little blog of mine. I hope that blogging will be something I can get back into the swing of in the next few weeks as it is a really important creative outlet for me and I really enjoy and value connecting with the blogging community.



Of course, I don't have a lot of time to write about things right now, but it's important to me to take time to share and document how I've been feeling lately. I'm not sure that I can really articulate it very well, but I suppose I do feel that I am not a natural at this parenting thing. Sure, I can feed, change and soothe this little baby of mine without too much difficulty, but I find it a real struggle to feel happy each day. I feel hopeless and lost and I cry a lot, and that in turn comes with a weight of guilt about it. I know that (to some degree) these swirling feelings are normal and all part of adjusting, but that doesn't make it much easier. I don't feel much like myself and I know that I need to find time to take care of myself (did I shower yesterday or the day before...?) and to do things that make me feel like me. I feel quite isolated, and despite family and friends interstate only being a phone call away, I can't help but wish that I had more meaningful connections closer to home. I suppose the reality of motherhood doesn't exactly match up with my initial expectations, or I feel like I'm not living up to my expectations. C is a perfect partner and it feels like all of this stuff comes naturally to him. I said to him tonight before he went to work "you should be the Mum!". I know that this kind of stuff doesn't make for very appealing blog posting and I wish so much that I could write a bunch of blog posts each week documenting the joys and delights of parenthood and each little milestone and outing. Despite feeling guilty for being unhappy and complaining about things, sharing these feelings is kind of cathartic and I hope that over the next few weeks I can find ways to become better at being a happy, attentive parent who also has time for her own interests and needs. I do know that it is early days and I'll eventually find my groove. Thanks for reading and if you leave me a comment, thank you in advance, I wish I had more time to respond. Here is another picture for good measure... (one of those sleepy smiles I mentioned earlier).

As you can imagine, time for blogging is slim around here, but I thought I'd share some quick snapshots of life lately. We're still adjusting and at the moment C and I are working on a kind of shift system where he stays up at night with a bottle of expressed milk and I sleep, then he sleeps during the day. It's working quite well (six hours sleep at a time! So good!) but we don't get to see a whole lot of one another or sleep beside each other. Theodore had his 2 weekly check up yesterday and is gaining lots of weight and is nice and healthy. I am still healing from my caesarean but feeling a lot better each day. I hope to have time for some proper posts soon.


My sister flew down for two days as a surprise and it was so lovely. I miss her so much already. Having her here was extremely uplifting and she helped out so much.



Getting out of the house and going for little walks has really helped us to adjust and feel more like our selves.


We have received some lovely gifts over the past few weeks - one of my favourites is the amazing cushion above from McKean Studio. I'd had my eye on it since Megan first shared pictures of them online and I feel so lucky to own one of her lovely pieces. A big tin full of (the most delicious) chocolate chip muffins from a lovely lady named Maria was delivered to my door last week too. Such a lovely surprise. My work sent flowers and a bundle of gifts and my Nanna is sending me oodles of cute knitted things each week.




Milk drunk.