(A photo from our third day in the hospital. I sent it as a postcard to a couple of relatives as a birth notice).

+ Big dark blue eyes (slowly changing to grey)
+ Perfect little upturned nose
+ Rosebud lips
+ Cheeks dotted with milk spots
+ Long (cold!) feet
+ Likes to be carried around in a wrap, falls straight to sleep
+ Long blonde eyelashes
+ No eyebrows
+ A swirl of light brown hair
+ Skin that smells delicious
+ Snores in his sleep
+ Big soft marshmallow cheeks
+ Hates being changed or being naked (C and I call him a 'never nude')
+ Enjoys our pram outings (has been to Milkbar several times)
+ Hates being swaddled
+ Long fingers with sharp fingernails that grow too fast
+ Very strong, holds his head up by himself for long periods of time and lifts himself up on his arms and knees during 'tummy time' - I have a feeling crawling is not really so far away
+ Makes adorable smiles in his sleep
+ Has many upsetting belly aches :(
+ Enjoys sleeping on top of me on his belly while I lay down (more often than not this is the only way to get him to fall asleep and I can't move him from this position or he'll cry!)

Hello hello! I have not forgotten about this little blog of mine. I hope that blogging will be something I can get back into the swing of in the next few weeks as it is a really important creative outlet for me and I really enjoy and value connecting with the blogging community.



Of course, I don't have a lot of time to write about things right now, but it's important to me to take time to share and document how I've been feeling lately. I'm not sure that I can really articulate it very well, but I suppose I do feel that I am not a natural at this parenting thing. Sure, I can feed, change and soothe this little baby of mine without too much difficulty, but I find it a real struggle to feel happy each day. I feel hopeless and lost and I cry a lot, and that in turn comes with a weight of guilt about it. I know that (to some degree) these swirling feelings are normal and all part of adjusting, but that doesn't make it much easier. I don't feel much like myself and I know that I need to find time to take care of myself (did I shower yesterday or the day before...?) and to do things that make me feel like me. I feel quite isolated, and despite family and friends interstate only being a phone call away, I can't help but wish that I had more meaningful connections closer to home. I suppose the reality of motherhood doesn't exactly match up with my initial expectations, or I feel like I'm not living up to my expectations. C is a perfect partner and it feels like all of this stuff comes naturally to him. I said to him tonight before he went to work "you should be the Mum!". I know that this kind of stuff doesn't make for very appealing blog posting and I wish so much that I could write a bunch of blog posts each week documenting the joys and delights of parenthood and each little milestone and outing. Despite feeling guilty for being unhappy and complaining about things, sharing these feelings is kind of cathartic and I hope that over the next few weeks I can find ways to become better at being a happy, attentive parent who also has time for her own interests and needs. I do know that it is early days and I'll eventually find my groove. Thanks for reading and if you leave me a comment, thank you in advance, I wish I had more time to respond. Here is another picture for good measure... (one of those sleepy smiles I mentioned earlier).

As you can imagine, time for blogging is slim around here, but I thought I'd share some quick snapshots of life lately. We're still adjusting and at the moment C and I are working on a kind of shift system where he stays up at night with a bottle of expressed milk and I sleep, then he sleeps during the day. It's working quite well (six hours sleep at a time! So good!) but we don't get to see a whole lot of one another or sleep beside each other. Theodore had his 2 weekly check up yesterday and is gaining lots of weight and is nice and healthy. I am still healing from my caesarean but feeling a lot better each day. I hope to have time for some proper posts soon.


My sister flew down for two days as a surprise and it was so lovely. I miss her so much already. Having her here was extremely uplifting and she helped out so much.



Getting out of the house and going for little walks has really helped us to adjust and feel more like our selves.


We have received some lovely gifts over the past few weeks - one of my favourites is the amazing cushion above from McKean Studio. I'd had my eye on it since Megan first shared pictures of them online and I feel so lucky to own one of her lovely pieces. A big tin full of (the most delicious) chocolate chip muffins from a lovely lady named Maria was delivered to my door last week too. Such a lovely surprise. My work sent flowers and a bundle of gifts and my Nanna is sending me oodles of cute knitted things each week.




Milk drunk.

Just wanted to check in quickly to let you know that, much to our delight, that baby of ours arrived this week, on his dad's 33rd birthday. I had an eighteen hour labour, was fully dilated and spent a whole lot of time pushing, but due to the position of his head had to have a c-section, which both Theo and I came out of with fevers and had to be put on antibiotics and monitored (seeing a cannula on a baby is awful). We just got home this afternoon and are happily adjusting to life as three. He is feeding wonderfully and I am getting back to feeling like myself (c-section recovery was so much worse than I expected but on day 5 I'm feeling near enough to normal). Our families have met him, but we're going to wait a few weeks before having visitors, to adjust and so that he can have his vaccinations before becoming a social butterfly. These are some photos taken on my iPhone of my little Theodore. Hope to write again soon.


2 hours old!



His going home outfit.


Coming home.


Sweet smug little smile.

Well, I sure didn't think I would be doing a 41 week post, but here I am in all of my enormous glory!
Today we got so bored of waiting for baby we went for a walk to the park on top of our hill with our new pram.

At my appointment on Thursday the doctor (who was very funny) just kept pulling confused faces at my belly and throwing his hands up in the air. He said to see how things went over the weekend and then go back into the hospital on Monday to book an induction. I am eight days overdue today! I feel really well and healthy and have been on several big walks this week, but I can imagine other pregnant ladies not being so lucky. I haven't had any pain or any real signals at all. C's mum was a whole month overdue when she was pregnant with his eldest brother - I can't fathom waiting that long!

My parents arrived this week and we've been having a really nice time just going for walks with them and eating out. Several months ago we bought our pram second hand online and my step dad picked it up for us from Sydney and then they brought it with them on the plane coming down here. It was a fun family effort pulling all of the parts out of their wrapping and putting them all together. It sure is pretty.





Today is the first day of Winter and it was lovely and sunny and warm in the park.
Now, I promise not to write again until I have baby news!